Birthday

I am turning 23 in two days and I am far from excited about this. 23, no. Most people that know me, know of my fear of aging. Although each year that I got older I was never happy about it, I think 23 is really hitting me hard. Turning 18 was great, i could buy all of those cigs i smoke, just kidding i dont smoke- but 18 is a milestone. You're an "adult"- 19 was just bleh, but hey I was still a teen so it didn't phase me all that much. Turning 20, I was not a teenager anymore which gave me bittersweet feelings. 20 felt old but still young, kind of a perfect age actually. Then there was 21 where of course it was fun to be able to legally go to bars, but sometimes i wish i never turned 21, life was simpler and more innocent before being 21. 22 was a year older than 21 and it wasn't too dreadful turning 22 because you weren't the "21 year old". However, 23... So undesirable and am realizing there is nothing cool about turning 23. Especially not when you are still in college and don't see a graduation in your future into next fall. ugh, i feel so old. I don't think I will celebrate this birthday.