you win some. you lose some.

-not taken by me, nor made up by me- but for sure fitting.

losing a friend is somewhat similar to them dying. It sounds dramatic- this I know. of course its not nearly as serious, but the after effects are similar in that, well- you never ever or talk to them again. I find myself often reflecting back, often thinking of the fun times that we had. often find myself on their facebook wishing I could comment on their wall but finding it all too inappropriate (oh technology these days...facebook) I am out of sorts wondering how you can go from talking on the phone 3 hours a day to the point where our parents questioned why our phone bills were at such extremes to a nonexistent, awkward, deleting you out of phone, relationship. its beyond what my mind can comprehend. i think that i am a smart person, but this, i simply can not figure out. Its tragic, unfortunate and simply life altering. I don't know what to do from here- i am in an uncomfortable middle situation. do i act as if i still know this person- do i refer to her in conversations- or do i act as if this great friend of mine never existed- do i delete memories out of my memory brain box to never be recovered? someone please help me how to act. i love my friend and cherish her deeply, but if she doesn't feel the same back, i have no ammo now do i? never thought i would lose such a close friend, never thought i would lose someone i love so much. Of course I will always love my lost friend because i still cherish her more than most, but if she doesnt cherish and love me then i have to give it up.
well. if anyone figures out how to rescue, what was, a beautiful friendship- give me some advice. life doesnt seem happy, normal, or right without the people you love and care for in it. regardless of hurt feelings, harsh words- friends are friends, friends are family. well, maybe not to some people.